


We Were Written in the Stars, but the Universe is a Shit Author

by alyssa9779



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canon Era, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Mental Health Issues, POV Second Person, Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Merlin, Reader-Insert, Romantic Soulmates, Soul Bond, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, insecure reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 09:07:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14329164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alyssa9779/pseuds/alyssa9779
Summary: You've been looking for your soulmates for your entire life, ridiculed and taunted for having two soul marks. Finally when you've decided it's just not worth it anymore, your soulmates decide to come out of the shadows. Now everything's supposed to be perfect, right? That's how soulmates work, right? Well. You definitely learn that lesson the hard way.Trigger warning for suicidal thoughts and situations (no actual suicide though)





	We Were Written in the Stars, but the Universe is a Shit Author

**Author's Note:**

> The initial title for this was "We Were Written in the Stars, but the Universe Can't Draw"  
> See... I came up with it when I was super sleep deprived and thought it was absolutely brilliant. But then. Buuuut theeeennn. I realized. That. Writing. And drawing. Are. Two different things. Therefore, it makes no sense. So that kinda fell through. I'm an idiot. I liked the concept though, so I stayed with it!

The wind is blowing through your hair and you're swaying with it, feeling, oddly enough, at peace with the world for the first time in a while. You got in the castle easily enough, at first glance you appear to be a nice young servant girl, but if the guards only knew what was going on behind your pretty eyes you wouldn’t have gotten as far as you did. But now it’s too late. 

You’re standing on the side of a bridge connected to the castle, peering down at the ground so far beneath you. Every ounce of your body is willing you to take a step. Just one little step and it’ll all be over, everything will finally go away. The voices of the guards behind you are barely coming to the forefront of your mind. They’re there for sure, but tuning them out is almost second nature. Nothing they say matters, they could never understand where you’re coming from, what you’ve been through. You close your eyes and feel the solid stone beneath your feet and you feel grounded. Connected with the earth. You raise your arms and feel them cutting through the breeze. 

Suddenly a hand grasped firmly on your ankle pulls you out of your trance and you freeze, not daring to turn around. Why can’t they just leave you alone? Let you be? Why is it now that people decide to care? It’s frustrating and you just want them to go away. The bustling world around you slowly comes back into focus and you zero in on a voice.

“What in the bloody hell are you doing up there? Get down here this instant!” You can tell before turning around, this isn’t a question, this is a demand. You yank your foot back, a risky move for one in your position, and turn quickly to face the owner of the voice. Your heart stutters when you make eye contact with the King of Camelot. The King of Camelot? What the hell? 

The man standing next to him seems to sense the mix of confusion and internal turmoil going on in your head. He shoots a quick glare at the King and looks back up at you. He looks familiar, you know you’ve seen him around the castle before, always at the King’s side. He smiles softly up at you, his eyes a striking shade of blue. 

“What Arthur is trying to say is, come on down here so we can make sure you’re safe!” He chuckles as he finishes his thought, raising his hand up to you. 

The minute the words leave his lips, your blood runs cold. It didn’t hit you at first, you were too out of it to realize what was happening when the King first spoke. But now you understand. You’ve waited so long for this moment, your entire life and it has the audacity to arrive at the one moment in which you wish it hadn’t. You know those words. Both of those phrases, actually. They’ve been etched into both of your forearms from the second you were brought into this world. So this is Arthur. 

There wasn’t a moment growing up, when you weren’t belittled and looked down upon for having two soul marks. You realized something was up when you were around seven, you could hear your parents speaking in hushed tones in the kitchen at night when you were supposed to be sleeping. 

“Goddamnit, Girard! You know she’ll never be accepted. I’ve spoken to her teacher, and the other kids are already noticing she isn’t normal!” You remember your father sighing and resting his head in his hands, seated at the table. You were so young, you didn’t understand why you were so different? You had two soulmates, so doesn’t that just mean you get to give and receive twice as much love? Unfortunately the world didn’t see it the same way. As you grew up, the whispers that spread around your small village weren’t really whispers anymore. You’ve heard it all, people who don’t even know you calling you things like ‘a worthless whore’ and ‘that goddamn harlot, poisoning the sanctity of our good town’. 

You made it a point, not to listen to them. You ignored them as you passed, not giving them so much as a glance. But you were still quite young, and that’s a point in time when girls in general are particularly sensitive, and given the circumstances, you were no exception. Slowly, their words crept under your skin until they had a hold on your mind. You slipped into a depression, now it had its ups and downs. Throughout the years though, they were mainly downs. And right now? You’re as low as you’ve been since the beginning. 

For most of your life, you never had anything against your soulmates, they seemed nice enough. If not, slightly abrasive. But you were sure you’d love them and they you, that’s how this is supposed to work, right? That slightly optimistic sentiment didn’t stop you from wearing long sleeves at every waking moment, even under the sweltering sun you refused to replace your heavy wool shirt with a lighter garment. You were done being shamed for something you couldn’t control. To be honest, you’d grown a little bitter towards the entire concept of soulmates, wishing more than anything to finally fall into the arms of those who would accept you unconditionally, but never having the time arrive. Never having your soulmates arrive.

By the time you had made the decision to leave your small village and travel to the castle, almost everyone you had grown up with had already found their love, but you were still alone. They were lucky and often either discovered them very young, or had their soulmate stop by, traveling from city to city on a mission for whatever ingredient to make whatever remedy and such. When you left, you’d accepted the reality that you just weren’t going to find your soulmates any time soon. Maybe you wouldn’t find them at all? Was this all a punishment for a sin committed in another lifetime? God, you hoped not. But now? Now you know that it is most certainly not like that. 

As you snap back to the present and nothing but dread fills your veins. It seems that your mind is entirely incapable of comprehending the gravity of the situation. You utter the only word that makes sense. 

“No” 

Your gaze is glued to the two men below you. Your soulmates. One being the King of Camelot. This doesn’t make any sense. There must be some mistake. It’s only when their eyes widen in understanding is it that you know there hasn’t been one. You’re frozen in place, not daring to make the first move. Your soulmates turn and look at each other, faces slack with shock. The intensity of the moment seems to be hitting them as well. You see the King close his eyes and swallow, turning his head back up to you. His eyes pleading and his voice wavering as he barely manages to whisper out.

“Please”

Your heart breaks at this little show of vulnerability. You swallow what’s left of your pride and decide that maybe this path is worth going down, despite it coming at the most inconvenient of times. You finally break eye contact with the humbled man and look down. You can’t deny him of this request, and not because he’s your king, but because he’s your soulmate. You can feel it. You don’t even know who these men are, not truly, but you can feel a pull towards them. You want to be with them. This must be what everyone is talking about. When you look at them again, the only information your brain provides you with is ‘safe safe safe’ so you decide to lower yourself down until you’re sitting on the stone.

You can almost feel the sense of relief that washes over the two men because of your decision. You feel a half grin growing on your face at how adorable they look. You stay seated for a minute to take it all in. Arthur has his armour on and a big red cape draped from his neck. He definitely looks quite regal, not to mention the crown resting upon his head. The man beside him is much the opposite. He’s wearing a blue shirt almost entirely covered by a brown jacket. What really stands out about him though is the red scarf wrapped around his neck and the brown boots crumpled down at his feet. These are your soulmates. You don’t know what you were expecting, but this definitely wasn’t it. Well hey, you’re in no way complaining. 

You position your arms to push yourself to the ground but your focus is interrupted by a pair of hands on your waist. You look up and it’s Arthur, making sure you land safely. If it were anyone besides these two men, you would’ve freaked out by now. But this feels right, like his hands belong on your hips and that they’re finally coming home. As he places you down on the ground, he leans over and whispers a word of thanks in your ear for not taking his soulmate away from him. Your heart flutters at the proximity of your faces, even if it was just for a second. He backs away and looks at the ground, leaving the other man to do the talking. 

“Well, I’m not quite sure what the proper etiquette would be in this situation... but hi, I’m Merlin” he shoots you a cheeky grin, “your soulmate, and this clotpole over here” he says, gesturing at the King, “would just so happen to be my soulmate and your other soulmate, Arthur” 

After a somewhat lengthy pause, you realize that it’s now your turn to introduce yourself.

“Oh, uh, hi, I’m (y/n). I didn’t really think this moment would ever come” you say with a slightly cynical edge to your voice. “But it did! So, it’s really good to finally meet you guys” you perk up, realizing that this is, in fact, real life. You can see that Merlin’s eyes have drifted up to where your sleeve has ridden up slightly. Out of habit, you push the fabric back down and cough as you look to your feet. Finally Arthur breaks his silence.

“Would you like to join us for dinner? I can have the kitchens bring us up anything you’d like to eat.” The thought of having a real meal for the first time since you'd left your village sounds extremely inviting, but you don’t want to provide anybody working in the kitchen with anymore work than they would have previously had. 

“That’d be wonderful!” you say, a genuine smile on your face for the first time in months. “I’ll just have whatever you two are having.” 

“Brilliant!” Arthur says with a dazzling smile painted across his face. “Follow me” He grabs your hand and drags you and Merlin through a maze of hallways. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You’re surprised when Arthur leads you to his private chambers. You would’ve thought he’d bring you to something akin to a dining hall. ‘Castles have those, right?’ You think to yourself. His decision to take you into his own room seems much more intimate, and that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. 

In the time that you’ve been in Arthur’s chambers you’ve learned a bit about the two men you now get to call your soulmates. Arthur and Merlin met long before Arthur was crowned as King. They knew immediately that they were soulmates, but neither of them made a move. Merlin was too nervous and Arthur feared what his father would think. Then shit hit the fan and Merlin ended up getting assigned the title of Arthur’s loving man servant, much to both of their dismay. The time they were forced to spend together brought feelings bubbling to the surface that both of them had been trying to suppress. They all spilled out one day when Merlin put his life on the line for Arthur, and Arthur couldn’t take it anymore. He yelled at his servant for being so stupid and careless, Merlin didn’t get upset because knew Arthur. He could read between the lines and realized that Arthur was petrified at the thought of losing Merlin. Merlin decided, to hell with it, grabbed Arthur’s face, and kissed the life out of him. It was that day that they finally admitted to themselves and each other that they were hopelessly in love, damn what the rest of the kingdom thinks. 

‘They’re perfect’ you think to yourself, and just like that, you can feel the doubt start to creep back in. You know that you’re all meant to be together, but you can’t help feeling like maybe you aren’t? Like there isn’t room for you, they’re goddamn perfect and their love story is beautiful. After all, soulmates aren’t supposed to come in threes, and Merlin and Arthur found each other first. A knock on the door snaps you out of your daze and before you know it, Merlin is off of his feet helping the maid to bring in the food. The kindness in his heart brings a smile to your face. 

Once the meals are on the table you catch yourself staring at it. The food looks delicious, better than anything your parents made you back home. It wasn’t their fault, they did the best with the resources they had at their disposal. You swallow the lump in your throat and realize just how out of your depth you are. You can feel yourself begin to shut down, and you feel a little guilty considering how hard the boys clearly tried to make this evening special, but you just can’t help yourself. 

You can hear Merlin and Arthur talking back and forth, like they’ve known each other their entire lives and you can’t help but feel slightly left out. Not because of anything they’ve done wrong, they can’t help how long they’ve known each other. But you can’t help feeling like they’d be better off without you getting in the way and messing with the flow of their relationship. You can tell that they’re trying their best to include you. They’re asking you questions about your interests and where you grew up, but you reply only with one or two word answers and fiddle with the remaining food on your plate. 

Suddenly everything just crashes in on you and you can’t take it anymore. Every time either one of them laughs it feels like a knife in your heart, confirming you aren’t meant to be here. Not really. You can feel the tears pooling up in your eyes and the shame that you’re crying over this causes heat to rise in your cheeks. This just so happens to be the moment Merlin looks away from gazing adoringly at Arthur. He notices your distress and confusion contorts his face.

“(y/n), what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Arthur looks over too, his concern evident. That’s it. You can’t take the thought of them pitying you. You stand up forcefully, the chair almost falling backwards and rush out of the door into the maze of hallways, hoping you can find your way out. You ignore the calls of the two men behind you that care so much for some goddamn reason. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before you knew it, your feet have taken you back to the forest, just beyond the line of trees where you set up camp. You had no place to stay inside of the kingdom, so you didn’t even try. You had no money to stay at an inn and you knew how to survive on your own anyways. Your camp was really well put together, you didn’t need to live in the kingdom. 

There you lived, day in and day out. You refused to step foot back in the castle or anywhere close to the kingdom, despite how much you wanted to. If you were being honest with yourself, you were absolutely terrified of running into Merlin and Arthur again. You know that they’d accept you back with open arms, but the shame and embarrassment still burned fresh in your mind because of your less than graceful exit. You wish you would’ve been able to pull yourself together and give the, what was it? A budding relationship? You don’t know, you didn’t stay long enough to find out. To give, whatever was forming, a shot. But you were too caught up in your own head, and you get that. It happens from time to time. It’s just a part of who you are at this point. 

It was completely silent in your little nook of the forest for at least a week or so until one day you’re awoken by the gallop of horses. You groan and roll over, covering your head with your makeshift pillow in an attempt to muffle the sound. Suddenly the galloping stops, but you didn’t hear the horses, or their riders leave the area. You hear what sounds to someone hopping off of their horse and that’s when a booming voice breaks you out of your sleep filled haze.

“Show yourself, you thief!” Oh if that’s not just exactly what you need right now. You honestly didn’t steal a single thing, you’ve been foraging and hunting to survive, and it hasn’t been all too pleasant. You sit up and scrub at your eyes before shuffling out of the shelter you had crafted. 

You make eye contact with the owner of the voice and your heart seems to stop. It’s him. It’s them. It’s Arthur with Merlin at his side, because where else would he be? They seem to have the same reaction. You cringe and wait for this to all blow up in your face, but you’re shocked when you feel arms encompass you. You embrace the the warm body and you feel more at home than you have ever before in your entire life. You look up and see Arthur smiling warmly at his two soulmates, finally together again. You shift your head and burrow into Merlin’s neck, hugging him as if your life depends on it. Arthur sits down next to the two of you and when you finally come up for air, you turn to him, his arms outstretched.

“My turn” he says, and you happily oblige. He’s a bit harder to hug, the bulky armor getting in the way and all, but in your gut, there’s that same feeling. Home. The three of you are all huddled on the soft earth, a little bit of a mess. Once he gets around to letting go of you, you look back to Merlin. 

“Why…” he stutters over his words “why did you leave? Did we do something wrong? We were so worried, we searched practically the entire kingdom looking for you.” Your heart immediately breaks, you can’t imagine what they must’ve thought when you took off. If they’re anything like you, and you sense they are, they had to have been blaming themselves. 

“Oh guys, of course you didn’t. You’re perfect. Too perfect. I just. I felt like I was intruding on something that really didn’t need me to begin with.” You have a hard time enunciating what was going on in your head, but you hope they’ll understand. Neither of them say anything, but they look at each other and it seems as if they’re speaking without talking. They simultaneously reach down to pull off their right boot. 

You see what they’re going for the minute they’re off. There, on their achilles heel, is one simple word. No. You knew it was on them somewhere, it had to be, but actually seeing the dark print forever etched on their bodies is an entirely different thing. Arthur looks you dead in the face and says.

“(y/n), I know that we don’t know you very well yet. But we will. I promise you with everything in me, if you give us the chance, we will love you until the day we die. It’s all right here,” he says, gesturing towards the pair’s ankles. “Soulmark’s don’t lie” you feel a blush rising on your cheeks and you shoot Arthur a smile. 

“Not everything is going to be perfect all the time,” Merlin says, “but where’s the fun in that? We want to be with you, (y/n). We want to get to know you for you, and I promise, you’re never going to get in the way. You’re a part of this now, as long as you’re willing.” You recognize that this last statement is almost a question and you can’t help but fall back into their arms, trying not to let go of the tears that are threatening to spill. You hope that this provides them with any answers they’re seeking. You’re overwhelmed again, but this time it’s with happiness and a sense of belonging you certainly never experienced back home. Right now, though? Right now you’re redefining home and you couldn’t be happier. What Merlin said is definitely true. Nothing will ever be perfect, you’ll never be happy one hundred percent of the time, but you’re with two people who are willing to work with you and do everything they can to make you feel welcome. This is all you had ever wanted growing up, it’s what you had convinced yourself that you would never find, but it’s all here in the palm of your hand. You’re damn sure you’re not going to let it slip back through your fingers again.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the fic that absolutely nobody asked for. All of the reader slash tags for this fandom are super small, so I don't know if anyone is even going to read this, haha! But if you like it, please let me know!


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